If you notice the same pattern of problems in your relationships that you cannot seem to change, it could be related to your attachment style. People with anxious preoccupied attachment love to be in love but may struggle with cultivating healthy relationships that allow both partners to maintain their own identities. In the back of their minds, they fear their feelings may not be reciprocated and their partner has one foot out the door.
Anxious preoccupied attachment has strong roots in anxiety, so if you notice worries and fears interfering with your relationship, you may benefit from anxiety treatment. 5 Palms can help you address the challenges of anxiety and relationships so you can enjoy greater harmony with your loved ones.
What Is Anxious Preoccupied Attachment?
Anxious preoccupied attachment is one of four types of attachment styles; the other three are secure attachment, dismissive/avoidant attachment, and fearful/disorganized attachment. Attachment styles refer to the way people relate to others in relationships and are believed to develop in response to one’s life experiences in early childhood.
Anxious preoccupied attachment is characterized by a strong craving for intimacy paired with an intense fear of rejection or abandonment. Other traits include:
- Anxiety about relationships
- Clinginess or neediness
- Insecurity
- Jealousy or possessiveness
- Doubts about whether their partner loves them
- Nagging fear that their partner will leave them
- Difficulty trusting others
- Low self-esteem
People with anxious preoccupied attachment style may feel inferior, which can prompt beliefs about not being worthy of love. They strongly desire closeness and connection but their low self-esteem leaves then feeling insecure about being abandoned, even when these fears are unwarranted.
Anxiety and Relationships
Anxious preoccupied attachment style can manifest in any type of relationship, whether familial, friend, or romantic. If you have ever seen a young child get very upset whenever a parent leaves, you have likely witnessed someone with anxious preoccupied attachment. These children have an overwhelming fear that their parent will not return, so they may panic anytime the parent needs to go somewhere without them. The same holds true in adulthood for those who exhibit possessiveness or jealousy when a close friend spends time with another friend or insists on constant contact through phone calls and texts whenever a partner is away from them.
As you can imagine, this type of attachment style can put a huge strain on relationships. Here are just a few of the relationship problems associated with anxious preoccupied attachment:
Overdependence
Anxious preoccupied attachment can make a person rely heavily on their partner for validation and emotional support, leaving their partner feeling suffocated. The constant need for reassurance can be frustrating and push the partner away, somewhat like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Jealousy and Insecurity
Since a person with anxious preoccupied attachment fears rejection or abandonment, they might become possessive and controlling over their partner’s actions. For example, the person may insist their partner touch base with them very frequently whenever they are apart, or they may become angry if the partner does not respond to their texts within a short period.
Communication Challenges
If a person does not realize they have anxious preoccupied attachment or understand how to manage it, they may have difficulty expressing their needs honestly and openly. This can cause misunderstandings or unmet expectations that can create stress in the relationship.
Self-Sabotage
Some people with anxious preoccupied attachment may actually push their partner away out of fear of rejection, the mindset being that they will leave before being left. Others may sabotage their relationships by seeking reassurance in unhealthy ways that put a lot of pressure on their partner.
Reach Out to 5 Palms for Anxiety Treatment Today
Anxiety can impact all areas of your life, including your relationships. If the above signs of anxious preoccupied attachment sound familiar, call 5 Palms to schedule an intake assessment for a proper diagnosis. We offer anxiety treatment that includes individual, group, and family therapy, along with anxiety medications as needed. Call us at 1.844.675.1022 or submit the online form to get started today.